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Turkish imam suspended after being rushed to hospital with 'pieces of cucumber' stuck up his bum
With the pressure to offer the best sex, most people are left at the mercies of gossip from friends or blue movies and literature for lessons. But in their endeavour to perfect their game between the sheets, some individuals try all manner of things they heard from friends or read about, most of which, at times, backfire, leading to injuries or complications. Crazy tales have, for instance, been told of women who, in moments of reckless abandon, ask their lovers to tie them on beds during sex. Others reportedly ask their partners to slap them around during the act, whilst some demand all manner of oddities like oral or anal sex, in the name of spicing thing up. Such extremes are likely to have been the case in Nairobi, with a woman being reported to have allegedly died after her man accidentally chocked her to death during sex. In a more recent cases, police in Migori are investigating circumstances under which a year-old man died after spending a night in a lodging with his girlfriend in Rongo town on Tuesday night. The man reportedly died at Rongo sub county hospital in unclear circumstances after having quality time at Msenera lodging with a woman identified as Dona Anyango.
From cucumber choking to suffocation, here are recent Kenyan bizarre deaths during intercourse
That makes sense. No more waiting game. Even better if the sequence heralds a Lance episode, or so I thought.
Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. Tragically, when we moved to VICE. Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium and shit, my name is Dr. Mona Moore.