With the prevalence of fertility drugs and older mothers giving birth, parenting twins has become an issue that is frequently addressed in the media, online and in popular books about child development. In contrast, an understanding of the lives of adult twin relationships is almost entirely ignored except for dramatic portrayals of deep entwinement or confusing and horrifying conflicts of good and evil. This form of neglect is unfortunate for twins and for those of us interested in the ups and downs of close interpersonal relationships. Twin relationships can over time help curious adults understand how to value intimate emotional relationships. Twins are born relying on one another and experience and learn to respect closeness.
Adult Twin Relationships - The Struggles Twins Have Finding New Partners
While twins fight just like different-aged siblings, their tensions have much more to do with establishing separateness and uniqueness, traits afforded naturally to siblings born at different times. Twins, especially identical twins, appear to harbor more resentment toward one another as they get older because they have worked diligently to establish a balanced and harmonious relationship over the course of their lives. They have both invested in this balance out of a need and wish to regulate competition and comparison. As their lives diverge, it becomes much more difficult to maintain a sense of equality and sameness. When this occurs, one twin might find it difficult to enjoy her work or relationship successes because she feels guilty about disrupting the balance with her sister. I have worked with many twins who feel as if they are betraying and abandoning their twin when their life paths diverge and change. Their loyalties to one another are strong—while admirable, it makes separation much more difficult.
11 Facts About Twins That Make Them Even Cooler Than You Already Thought
The number of twins in the U. According to a report by the National Center for Health Statistics , their birthrate rose 76 percent from to This could be due to the fact that more women over the age of 30 are having children and more are using fertility drugs and assisted reproductive technology, both of which increase the likelihood of multiple gestation. As many as one in three women who use fertility treatments may become pregnant with twins. The result?